Friday, November 6, 2009

The Poop Chronicles

What is it about my children and poop!! Or maybe the question should be - what is it about my children and public washrooms!!
The other day Jack and I took Caitlyn to her podiatrist appointment. He was doing very well at being patient - waiting for his sister's foot to be examined. Mind you he had his Nintendo DS - so he was pretty much oblivious to the world. We were nearing the end of the appointment when he came into the office looking somewhat pained and announced that he needed a washroom. The receptionist led him down the hallway and left him to his own devices. A few minutes later, when Caitlyn and I were at the front desk waiting to pay and schedule another appointment, I noticed Jack was still not back. Wondering what could be keeping him so long, I went down to the washroom and knocked on the door. Jack told me he was still busy, made a few grunting sounds, and said he'd be out soon. A few more moments later he waltzed down the hallway grinning ear to ear. The doctor told him that we'd been worried that he'd fallen into the toilet. Jack laughed and said how much he liked their air freshener. She thanked him, but looked a bit puzzled (I'm sure it wasn't a compliment she was used to receiving). He then proceeded to tell us all about how he had pushed the air freshener and it had fallen off the wall, and how he had struggled to get it back up. Without taking a breath he continued on describing exact mechanics of the air freshener and how he had successfully fixed it. While thankful that he hadn't broken it, I didn't think this conversation could lead to anything good, so I tried to hurry him along and out the door. The doctor was smiling and praising him for how handy he was when he decided to tell us all exactly why he had needed the air freshener in the first place. Much to the amusement of the doctor, receptionist and poor man standing in the waiting area Jack proudly told us that "it was a good thing they had an air freshener in their bathroom because it smelt like poop in there!" I was ready to die, the doctor and receptionist were laughing hysterically, and Jack kept on chatting away. Only someone as smooth as Jack could have the ladies adoring him, even while discussing bathroom functions!

However, he's not alone in his poop tales. His sister Caitlyn has embarrassed me, her grandparents, and a few of my kind friends who unsuspectingly volunteered to take her to a public toilet. I think sometimes she saved up her #2's for just such outings. She might have gone for days without pooping, but walk into a Walmart or Boston Pizza, and she had to go! (Soooo not like her father who makes us go home from wherever we are because he refuses to "read a magazine" except in his own home! Sorry Paul - but you don't read my blog anyways!)
Caitlyn always had a story to tell while on the pot. I remember one friend standing in the washroom at Boston Pizza with her for 20 minutes. Caitlyn would do a countdown on the number of poops she had left. How she knew the volume she had coming was always a mystery to me, but she would grunt away and announce that she'd "just had the daddy poop but there was a mommy and 3 babies coming!" Thankfully she's toned down her restroom conversations as she has grown, but she still continues on her quest to check out every washroom in every mall, theatre, restaurant, and park.
So for anyone coming to visit - we can tell you where to find the closest restroom, the ones with the best smelling air fresheners, and that yes, the water does flush backwards Down Under!


  1. Love it Jenny - and my mom and auntie Di are loving it too!

  2. Gee you have amazing friends not to mention your talented children!

  3. After reading this I have to think of how Jack and Caitlyn will feel when they know that their mother told the world (okay, just those of us who read your blog) about their poop adventures. Nothing like putting it in writing.

  4. I would like to add to your poop stories of the kids Jenny. It was my first week working as a nanny for you guys and we were outside in the backyard. I was playing with little Jack who had just turned one and Caitlyn said she had to go to the washroom... which she said she could do on her own. She comes running out pantless holding her bum. She then turned, screamed a little and let one plop right out infront of me. I was a little taken back and shocked, for a brief second I almost put my hands out to catch it, thankfully I came to my senses and didnt! lol Poor Caitlyn, at least she decided to do it on the grass rather than the carpet! Id have to say between Jack and Caitlyns brutally honest observations in public and other embarrassing moments I knew what I was getting myself into as a parent! Thanks kids! love you both so much and miss you more