The Poop Chronicles

What is it about my children and poop!! Or maybe the question should be - what is it about my children and public washrooms!!

The other day Jack and I took Caitlyn to her podiatrist appointment. He was doing very well at being patient - waiting for his sister's foot to be examined. Mind you he had his Nintendo DS - so he was pretty much oblivious to the world. We were nearing the end of the appointment when he came into the office looking somewhat pained and announced that he needed a washroom. The receptionist led him down the hallway and left him to his own devices. A few minutes later, when Caitlyn and I were at the front desk waiting to pay and schedule another appointment, I noticed Jack was still not back. Wondering what could be keeping him so long, I went down to the washroom and knocked on the door. Jack told me he was still busy, made a few grunting sounds, and said he'd be out soon. A few more moments later he waltzed down the hallway grinning ear to ear. The doctor told him that we'd been worried that he'd fallen into the toilet. Jack laughed and said how much he liked their air freshener. She thanked him, but looked a bit puzzled (I'm sure it wasn't a compliment she was used to receiving). He then proceeded to tell us all about how he had pushed the air freshener and it had fallen off the wall, and how he had struggled to get it back up. Without taking a breath he continued on describing exact mechanics of the air freshener and how he had successfully fixed it. While thankful that he hadn't broken it, I didn't think this conversation could lead to anything good, so I tried to hurry him along and out the door. The doctor was smiling and praising him for how handy he was when he decided to tell us all exactly why he had needed the air freshener in the first place. Much to the amusement of the doctor, receptionist and poor man standing in the waiting area Jack proudly told us that "it was a good thing they had an air freshener in their bathroom because it smelt like poop in there!" I was ready to die, the doctor and receptionist were laughing hysterically, and Jack kept on chatting away. Only someone as smooth as Jack could have the ladies adoring him, even while discussing bathroom functions!

However, he's not alone in his poop tales. His sister Caitlyn has embarrassed me, her grandparents, and a few of my kind friends who unsuspectingly volunteered to take her to a public toilet. I think sometimes she saved up her #2's for just such outings. She might have gone for days without pooping, but walk into a Walmart or Boston Pizza, and she had to go! (Soooo not like her father who makes us go home from wherever we are because he refuses to "read a magazine" except in his own home! Sorry Paul - but you don't read my blog anyways!)

Caitlyn always had a story to tell while on the pot. I remember one friend standing in the washroom at Boston Pizza with her for 20 minutes. Caitlyn would do a countdown on the number of poops she had left. How she knew the volume she had coming was always a mystery to me, but she would grunt away and announce that she'd "just had the daddy poop but there was a mommy and 3 babies coming!" Thankfully she's toned down her restroom conversations as she has grown, but she still continues on her quest to check out every washroom in every mall, theatre, restaurant, and park.

So for anyone coming to visit - we can tell you where to find the closest restroom, the ones with the best smelling air fresheners, and that yes, the water does flush backwards Down Under!