Giggle Till You Tinkle

Driving home from downtown Brisbane I expect to see signs or banners advertising whatever events are going on in the city. There are plenty of signs for Ekka (their Exhibition), for Mamma Mia and for Wicked, and for Daffodil Day. But when I saw the sign in the picture here I couldn't stop laughing.

Yes, I know it's not a laughing matter - or maybe it is - since sometimes that's just when it's a problem. They don't tell you that after you've had kids you're going to be sentenced to crossing your legs whenever you giggle! (O.k., I've probably turned off any men that actually read this blog - but you know what I'm talking about girls).

After seeing this sign for Weak Bladder Week I decided that I just had to have a picture of it for my blog. So, in the interests of safety, I enlisted my friend Shannon to take the picture while I drove. I wanted the best picture possible of course. However, that meant Shannon actually had to unbuckle, put her head and the camera out of the sunroof, (or risk decapitation by the cars on either side of us), balance precariously on her seat in her high-heeled sandals, and manually focus my camera. Let's just say I almost peed myself in the process! Maybe I better write down that number!

Happy Birthday Jack!

Our Jack turns 7 today. Seven! Seven seems so old. I know it's not - he's still at the age where he wants to live with me forever. Or at least next door.

But still, it seems like just yesterday I was out having dinner with friends for my baby shower. Even then Jack liked to do the unexpected. Thankfully, I was sitting on a separate chair and not the bench at our table - or at least, I'm sure the other girls were glad that I was! Let's just say - water breaking in a restaurant during a baby shower - it doesn't just happen in the movies!

After the excitement of his early birth, Jack has continued to amaze and entertain us. Sometimes it's how he seems to have the wisdom of one so much older. Like when Paul and Fred were trying to move our couch using our Hyundai Santa Fe. They had decided it was not going to fit. Jack looked at them, waved his hands in the air, and said "Guys, you gotta have faith!" It fit afterall.

Other times, it's how he can make us smile. You only have to read some of my previous blogs to be familiar with my many Jack stories. His cheerfulness is infectious. Who can resist his red curly mop, sliding down glasses, and constant chatter?

Admittedly, Jack can be somewhat blunt. Like when he told the bagpiper at the park how his Uncle Robb taught him (Jack) how to play the bagpipes, and how maybe Uncle Robb could give the bagpiper some lessons.

But, he is also a very sensitive and caring little boy - remember his New Year's resolution of "more hugs?"

We couldn't imagine our life without him. Happy birthday Jacko!! Bring on the hugs!! And Jack - I won't hold you to your promise to live with me forever, but I will expect you to call me at least once a week!

Jackademics

I know how important it is to have open lines of communication with your children's teachers. After all, they are like your child's second family. I just never expected that those lines would be so busy when it came to Jack!

I'm not saying that Jack is a bad student. Academics seem to have been the last thing his teacher and I have been discussing. Jack is just a continual source of amusement to us, his teachers, his classmates, and their families. "Jack from Canada" is well known at school. Though famous or infamous I'm not sure.....

The first time I got the call in Grade 1 was a bit of a sticky situation - literally. The class was doing an art project and Jack somehow glued his fingers together. Who knew glue sticks were that powerful? I don't know why he didn't just wash his hands or get his teacher's help. Boys' minds just work differently I guess. No, instead Jack and his friend decided - as only two 6 year old boys could - that the best course of action would be to cut his fingers apart. I asked Jack why he would let someone else near him with scissors. He claimed that after their first failed attempt he had expressed some doubts, but decided to go ahead anyway. Not surprisingly, his finger got cut. On his way back from getting a bandage at the office, he ran into the gym teacher who thought he looked a bit pale. (He did admittedly look a little Edward Cullen-ish, but do you know many redheads who aren't pasty white?) She asked him if he was o.k., to which he replied that he was going to explode. She took that to mean that he was going to spew everywhere. In actuality, it was just my dramatic son's way of saying that his heart was racing. (Probably from the sight of the blood - he is his mom's child). I got the call to pick him up from the school. No one wants a kid that's going to puke! The next day several curious moms wanted to know if the story of the glued fingers was true. I guess when they asked their kids "what happened at school today?" Jack's episode rated higher than the usual "nothing".

Not long after, I got an email from his teacher. She was trying to verify Jack's birthday for a class project they were doing. Jack was adamant that his birthday was in July but all of the school's documentation listed August. I replied back that his birthday was indeed in August. When I picked him up that day a laughing Miss Wilson beckoned me into the classroom. It seems that when she told Jack his birthday was in August he simply nodded his head and informed her that because of the time difference, his birthday was in July in Canada but August in Australia. Who knew there was an international birthdate line?

My latest chat with Miss Wilson was really quite hilarious, though embarrassing. It's not everyday that you get to discuss flatulence with your child's teacher. Apparently, the kids had been sitting quietly on the carpet listening to a story when Jack let out 3 (the # is subject to some debate) rather large, loud rippers. When the dismissal bell rang for the day, out ran one of Jack's friends, making a bee-line for me. Will couldn't wait to explain how Jack had been sent out of the classroom because he had "fluffed" 3 times. (I find it strange in a country where they bluntly call restrooms - the "toilet" - that kids here refer to "farts" as "fluffs. But I digress). Will's mom told me she had heard 5 fluffs when he was relaying the story to his family later that night. Luckily, Jack didn't actually get kicked out of the classroom. His teacher thought it best that he excuse himself and take a visit to the toilet, as he obviously had some stomach issues. Afterwards I clued into the fact that pepperoni and Gouda cheese sandwiches might not be the best lunch combination in the future - at least for the good of his classmates.

With 5 more months of school left I'm sure Miss Wilson and I will have many more conversations regarding my accidental comedian. I just hope she doesn't have to put me on speed dial!

Sporty Sports Day

The kids were walking home from school recently and their conversation went something like this:

Caitlyn: "These Australians are really serious about their sports!"
Jack: "Yeah, they are so super sporty!"
Josh (their Canadian friend): "They are like outside all the time running around! You know, we Canadians are like, happy to sit in front of the T.V. every once in awhile."
Then they all nodded in earnest agreement.

A couple of weeks ago Caitlyn had her "Sports Carnival." Although the kids had fun, I would agree that it was far more serious than the Sports Days of our Canadian past.

In Calgary, some of the kid's favourite sports day events weren't really even true "sports". While technically running is a part of "duck, duck, goose," I don't think any of the kids actually realized they were exercising. And the reason that particular game station was so popular - the person who was "it" got to drench the "goose" with a wet sponge.

My personal favourite was at Caitlyn's grade 1 sports day, where all of the kids fought for their turn to roll down a hill in an empty refrigerator box! Classic!

I guess I expected a less competitive edge to Caitlyn's Aussie Sports Carnival. Maybe some races of the wheel barrel, egg on the spoon, potato sack, or three-legged variety? Instead the day was filled with shot put, long jump, high jump, and a 100 metre sprint. It was like a mini-Olympics! The kids were all divided up into their school houses with the goal of winning points for their teams. Chants and house songs filled the air. I had to stifle a giggle when Caitlyn's team did their chants - her house has the unfortunate sounding name of Meibusch (pronounced "my bush"). I know, I'm juvenile!

They had fun cheering for their teams, wearing their House colours, doing their House chants, but it was definitely a competition. Caitlyn gave it her best, and that's all we asked. She was disappointed with her performance but soon perked up upon the presentation of a special treat. No... not a medal or even a ribbon... she was happy with a cupcake (or two) from the bake sale table.

So, while some of us Canadians are not so "super sporty" we will give it a go when there's chocolate at the finish line!

Pick and Chews

(This was written before Jack's tonsillectomy but I'm posting it now anyway!)

Jack has recently picked up a bad habit - literally!

My son is a nose picker.

I've noticed his fingers rammed up his nose more and more lately. As gross as that is, it's not the worst part. It's what comes after. (Sorry, I think I just threw up a little in my mouth!) Nuff said!

I've looked at a bunch of parenting sites on how to stop this bad habit. One of the main things they suggest is that it could be related to allergies. I'm not sure that Jack has allergies but he's definitely a congested little man. I'm hoping that once he gets his tonsils and adenoids out this week that his nose won't be so plugged. Unfortunately, he has been doing it enough lately that it seems to have started to become an unconscious thing. So, even if his nose clears up I'm worried that may not stop him from drilling for nose candy!

Before you suggest it, I have given Jack tissues to carry with him. The problem with that is he's kind of a wild blower. It goes everywhere. And then, he leaves Kleenex in all of his pockets. Not good if you miss one and it goes through the wash. I may have to resort to the old fashioned hanky (though that in itself kind of grosses me out too).

So, I've decided to try some of the other suggested strategies. The first is a reward system. Stickers instead of boogers. After so many pick free days he'll get a little reward. He seems interested. We'll see how that pans out.

I've also put plan two into action. We covered a few of his fingers with bandaids. The bandages make his fingers too big and scratchy to fit into his nose. However, I forgot to tell him to keep the reason for his "plasters" (as they call them here) on the down low, so he wouldn't feel embarrassed. Well, I needn't have worried. Jack doesn't do embarrassed. That morning he sat down and started reading for one of the moms before class. Before he got through the second page he felt the need to stop and tell her exactly what his new bandaids were for. Repeating several times, he demonstrated how they were on his "picky" fingers! She smiled at me and laughed, I laughed and blushed, and got out of there before Jack revealed any other family secrets.

As a parent you have to pick and choose your battles. I just hope we can win the battle of the pick and chews! (Sorry, I couldn't resist!)

I just can't wait for.....a tonsillectomy?

Who, besides maybe Heidi Montag, looks forward to surgery? The answer: my crazy son Jack!

He has been going around the house the last 2 weeks singing "I just can't wait till Thursday!" Thursday - the day he gets his ginormous tonsils out.

His tonsils are quite literally the size of golf balls. Paul has taken to calling him the "house elf" lately, given his funny muffled voice. While it's sort of cute, I must admit that I've had trouble understanding him the last couple of months. So, I'm not sure how his teacher and classmates have been able to grasp what he's been saying - what with his "hot potato voice" and Canadian accent. Not that no one understanding him would stop Jack from talking.....

I guess maybe I would be excited too, since the poor kid has been suffering from some serious sleep apnea, snoring that rivals my Grandma Currie's (I had to wear ear muffs when I shared a room with her), and swallowing with what seems like two giant moth balls in his mouth. However, the top reasons he is excited about Thursday are the perks that come as a result. In case you can't understand him in the video, he is looking forward to getting his new Mario pillow, a Yoshi stuffy, eating ice cream, and having his favourite soup (Ichiban). I'm sure the 2 week break from school has nothing to do with his happiness - not!

While Jack is excited about tomorrow, Caitlyn is the exact opposite. Caitlyn, my little mini-worst-case scenario mom, is very worried about her little brother. As a result she has decided that it's her job to let him know just why he's delusional to be happy about it. Initially she believed that the doctors would be cutting slits on either side of his throat, and she shared this theory with Jack! Luckily, that didn't even phase him. She also heard that people who get their tonsils out often lose weight. So this past week she's been like a little Italian grandmother - trying desperately to fatten Jacko up. "Eat Jack!" she says, following him around with extra food. Yesterday she grabbed the anesthesiologist's info sheet off the counter and started reading it, and making notes! I had to take it away from her - she was making me nervous. "Mom," she shouted, "did you know they are going to make Jack unconscious? How is he supposed to breathe?" "Mom, did you read this - make sure you don't give him nurofen!" It's sweet she's so worried about her little brother, but she's scaring me!

We have been so blessed to have such happy, healthy kids. I know getting your tonsil's and adenoids out is a pretty common procedure but it will still be hard to watch them take my little baby into the operating room. But, if Jack can face this with a smile I guess I can fake one!

Love at the Library

Paul and I met at the University of Calgary library. We were studying. Really.

O.k., not really. That's just the story we told his mom and dad. In actuality we met at a bar. A bar called Coconut Joe's. On Electric Avenue. In Calgary. I still have the dress I wore. A little black velvet Esprit dress. My Grandma thought I should wear it with a sweater. I didn't. It's actually in the kid's dress-up box. I probably could fit into it again - if I removed a few ribs.

At the time Coconut Joe's was one of "the" places to party. Now it's a daycare. Kind of makes you feel old!

The whole meeting wasn't as sordid as it sounds. I'll admit to writing my phone number in lip gloss on a piece of paper tablecloth. But I didn't have a pen. And, it was New Year's Eve. Isn't it kind of romantic to met your true love on New Years Eve? We were dancing when they started the count-down. Paul gave me my first kiss of 1989. Then later, he asked me to dance again. I wish I could say that we danced to something romantic and sweet. I just don't think you can classify "Boom Boom (Let's Go Back to My Room)" that way. Needless to say our friends took great delight in requesting that song at our wedding.

In a way we did kind of meet at the U of C. Paul called me for our first date after running into me at school. If meeting at a bar wasn't something he wanted to tell his parents, our first date was even more awkward. He picked me up for our date from a hotel where I was dancing. But to clarify, I was Highland dancing at a Scottish Ceilidh at the hotel! I'm not sure his friends heard those important details!

Well, yesterday Paul and I celebrated our 18th anniversary. So, I guess you can find love at a bar. Or at a library. Yes Caitlyn, there are lots of nice boys at the library!