Legacy of Love

When a parent dies, it doesn't matter what age you are, you can't help but feel like a lost, scared little kid. Today is the second anniversary of my Dad's passing. It's still not easy.

I know I was luckier than some. I got the chance to have my Dad walk me down the aisle, to have him hold my babies, to ride Thunder Mountain together, to say good-bye. I am thankful for those gifts. Still, I can't help but wish that he was here to see my kids grow up, watch Jack and Aidan play hockey, cook us his famous pineapple sweet and sour chicken, or flash me one of his amazing smiles.

Even though I miss my Dad everyday, I know he is not lost to us. I see him in my nephew Aidan's passion for hockey, Caitlyn's attachment to pens and notebooks, my niece Ainsley's love of reading, and Jack's infectious smile. I see him when I look at my brother and the devoted father he is to his children. My Dad lives on in us and in our memories.

Although I debated whether I should share my grief about the loss of my Dad in this blog I decided that all too often we hide our emotions, afraid of what others will think. Feelings aren't things you should have to hide or be ashamed to express. That was just one of lessons I learned from my Dad. He was the type of person who would rather hug someone than shake their hand. He expressed his love for his family and friends on a daily basis. Growing up that way meant we always knew we were loved, and that whatever we did, my Dad would be there for us. And it also meant that there wasn’t anything left unsaid. I'm thankful for that peace.

Today I tried to focus on all of the good memories - to celebrate my Dad. I cooked his pineapple sweet and sour chicken for dinner, laughed with my kids about some crazy Granddad stories, and let my family know how much I love them.

And his legacy of love lives on...

The Man Cave

O.k., my existence is slowing deteriorating into life in a "man cave."

Our good friend Fred is staying with us right now until he gets some furniture for his own house. Fred's wife Shannon is back in Calgary packing up for their move to Brisbane. I really don't mind having Fred stay with us. He's an easy going guy and not very demanding. Fred's like a second brother to me - but one who doesn't comment on my wild morning hair or lack of makeup. He'll eat just about anything, though I have worked to make my menus a bit fancier since he's arrived. No more frozen meat pies shoved into the oven last minute - yet anyway.

So it's not really Fred. It's more the increase in testosterone in the house. Having Fred here seems to give my husband an excuse to go golfing, watch more sports, and play lame fantasy computer games. In the past week the "boys" have started playing World of Warcraft together. One sits at the computer nook in our family room while the other relaxes on the couch with his laptop. Being ignored each evening is the least of my problems. No, instead I can barely concentrate on reading or watching T.V. because all I hear is them (o.k. mostly Paul) bicker back and forth about where to go, who caused who to die, who is still looking for his body, etc. (If you ask me, all they seem to do in that game is die, run around looking for their bodies, then run around, fight and die some more. Clearly, I am not a role playing game affectionato). My only enjoyment has been razzing them about whether they are playing their male or female characters together. That and writing this blog about them (which they aren't too happy about either).

Last weekend the "man cave" grew darker - for me. At least when the boys play their "games" I have some control over the channel changer. Saturday night they got my hopes up by flipping to "Four Weddings and a Funeral", only to dash them by changing the channel to the Masters recap. I wasn't thrilled about the golf but then they started taunting me by flipping between that and a women's lingerie football game. Seriously??? Women playing football in bras and underwear? No thank you boys!!!

Enough was enough! Today I broke free from all of the male bonding. Caitlyn and I went on a girl's date this afternoon. We did a little shopping and then we went to a movie. No, not Clash of the Titans (like Paul dragged me to when we had a date night with Fred babysitting), but a true chick flick. We laughed, we cried, and we cuddled watching Miley Cyrus, Greg Kinnear, and Liam Hemsworth in The Last Song. Yes, it was sappy but we enjoyed seeing it together. After the movie we discussed how Paul, Fred, and Jack wouldn't have liked it. As Caitlyn commented, "boys don't like to show their emotions."

So, after my girl time with Caitlyn today I feel like I can survive the cave a little while longer. Now if I can just survive Paul's man cold....

The icing on the cake

I'm one of those people who firmly believes that you cannot have a birthday without the cake. Home-made or store-bought, chocolate or white, candles or sparklers, as long as you have a cake it feels like a celebration.

This year Caitlyn's birthday started and ended with cake. For breakfast I served up a piece of homemade chocolate banana cake. (O.k., it was Duncan Hines but I did change the mix by adding a banana instead of one egg and applesauce instead of oil. And I cooked it in the oven - so it was definitely homemade!) Seeing Caitlyn and Jack's eyes light up at the idea of cake for breakfast made me feel a little giddy too. Not to be a bad parent, I did follow it up with some scrambled eggs. That wasn't the best taste combination. Next time I'd skip the eggs!

I'll always remember one of the cakes my Mom made me when I was young. It was shaped like a little girl and was almost as big as me. It had gumdrop buttons and licorice hair, and a pink icing dress. I'm sure I didn't fully appreciate it then, but I recognize now the hard work and love that went into creating that perfect birthday moment.

When I was baking Caitlyn's cake the other night, I started thinking about another cake from my past - the money cake! Remember the days when moms used to bake nickels, dimes and quarters right into the cake batter? Kids didn't just lick the icing off that cake. Oh no, each piece was demolished and chowed down in a frantic treasure hunt! If you were lucky the coins were at least wrapped up in wax paper so you'd get a bit of a warning before swallowing. Otherwise you'd find your treasure when you bit down on the cold hard cash - and hopefully spit it out in time! We were tougher then - those were the days of no car seats and cement under the monkey bars - and the thrill of finding money far outweighed the risk of choking on it.

In our more safety conscious world, and without waivers from the parents, I have yet to resort to making my own money cake to excite the kids. Instead I have iced my fair share of Nemo, Mr. Incredible, Buzz Lightyear, Indiana Jones, butterfly and giraffe cakes. Hopefully when Caitlyn and Jack grow up they too will remember some of those cakes, and understand how much love I baked into them.

Happy Birthday Caitlyn!

I can hardly believe that nine years ago today I was getting ready to head to the Spa for a girl's weekend at the Banff Springs Hotel when my water broke. Ten hours later our precious Caitlyn was born! (Thankfully it was then and not on the highway to Banff, though, I would've had three nurses in the car with me! That would have been a real girls' bonding experience! Yikes!!)

Caitlyn came into the world at 2:42 p.m. on April 7th - more than one month early and a mere three minutes before my scheduled pedicure! Needless to say I never made it to Banff that day, and my Obgyn was kind enough not to mention my unwaxed legs and un-manicured toes!

Though some people have called her my "mini-me," (there is definitely some physical resemblance) I think Caitlyn's the real thing on her own. From the moment of her early arrival, Caitlyn has been a joy. Even before she used to eat crayons at her Auntie's house, we knew she had an artistic edge. When Caitlyn insisted on her and Jack being called LavaGirl and Sharkboy for months, we knew she was an adventurous, imaginative creature. And a mini-McGuyver too - creating time machines, churches, secret agent kits, and booby traps out of mere paper and tape! Our Caitlyn is the kind of girl who wears her heart on her sleeve, and who never goes through a day without telling us how much she loves us. She worries about other's feelings, helps those who need it but doesn't announce it to the world. She's our quiet, but goofy, intellectual.

For her birthday present this year, her only request was to spend a day with just Paul and I. I think she's really giving us the present.

Happy Birthday sweetie! We love you!

The Easter Bilby

Usually my kids end up having three Easter egg hunts. (I know they're definitely spoiled!) One with my family, one on Easter morning at our house, and one with Paul's parents. That's a lot of sugar!! This year the chocolate high was a bit more contained - with only one hunt, in our hotel room in Cairns. I might have been tempted to hide some eggs outside but it was pouring rain, and given that it was still 27C outside, they would have quickly become Easter blobs. (Not that my kids are that picky, melted blobs of chocolate are still chocolate!) So, the hunt on Sunday had them checking around behind cushions and under tables in the small living area of our hotel room. Not too challenging, but they didn't care. This year we also went Australian. No Easter bunnies here! Going along with an apparently growing trend, their chocolate prize at the end of the hunt was an Easter Bilby! I guess since rabbits have been viewed as pests here in Australia, some people have tried to push bilbies as the "greener" option. Who knew chocolate could get so political! All I know is, whether it's a bilby or a rabbit - I'm still eating it ears first!

Lights Off!

Earth Hour

Lights out

Up the stairs

By flashlight

Three in a bed

Watching shadows

Deers and dogs

And monsters battle

Giggles erupt

Cuddles ensue

And one mama monkey falls out of bed

Power saved?

Haven't a clue

Memories made?

You bet you!

Fair Dinkim Adventures

Part of the reason for my lack of recent posts was a terrific six week visit from my Mom. We had such a great time together and I was very sad to see her go home. And no - not just because she felt the need to do 3 or 4 loads of laundry a day or because she insisted on making my kids' lunches for school - she was my partner in adventure!

The dictionary defines adventure as "an exciting or very unusual experience." Well, we certainly went some unusual places and made our own excitement. More importantly, we shared quite a few laughs along the way.

Ipswich - Ipswich is a city just outside of Brisbane. We actually ended up there by accident. My GPS wasn't working that day and I'd just missed the turn-off for the second time to check out New Farm (one of Brisbane's suburbs). Driving down the wrong road, we saw a sign for Ipswich. It was like a beacon calling out to us, inviting us to go somewhere new. We thought - why not? After about 45 minutes, I pulled over at the Ipswich Tourist Information booth. The ladies there seemed very excited to have some Canadian visitors (in hindsight I think they were just happy to have any visitors at all to Ipswich!) Coral, one of the tourist info ladies, seemed extremely intent on getting us to go to Queens Park to see the bilbies (some kind of marsupial that looks like a cross between a rat and a rabbit). I'm sorry, but when a "ratbit" is your main draw you really need to start upgrading your town's attractions! I asked whether there was a cute shopping district. Coral seemed somewhat flustered at first by the question (could have been my accent) but recommended a visit to Brisbane Street. Looking back, we should have noted her hesitation and gotten out of dodge. However, the guide magazine we picked up described the area as a "lovely precinct," a "treasure on your doorstep," with "funky cafes, original heritage architecture, and an array of shopping delights." Deciding to skip the bilbies and instead check out the shopping we found a parking spot and started walking. We had passed a somewhat sketchy looking section of the street looking for a place to park, so we decided to walk in the opposite direction. After a few blocks lacking in any "treasures" I decided to ask someone where the shopping precinct was located. They pointed back up towards the block we had purposefully avoided. Apparently "funky" and "delights" mean something different to Ipswichians - like a parole office and an adult sex shop. We did check out the strip of stores (skipping the "Love Shop" - my Mom said she didn't want to have to explain anything to me... ) to see if we had missed something worthwhile. Let's just say... we should have gone to see the bilbies!

Mom with her stuffed bilbie!

Fair Dinkim Bargain Store

"Fair Dinkim" is Aussie slang for "genuine" or "true". I haven't heard an Australian throw this term into an actual conversation but some stores seem to think it's funny to use it in their advertising. After escaping Ipswich's seedy shopping district we came across Fair Dinkim Bargains. It seems that what Ipswich lacks in quaint shopping it makes up for in bargain stores. If you know my mom and I, you know about our love for a good dollar store! I'm not sure that Fair Dinkim Bargains was quite up to my Dollarama standards (there were things over $2.00) but it was as close as I've found so far. Plus, "fair dinkim" is a term that just makes you giggle. Go ahead, say it a few times and try not to smile! (We also found a salon called "Hair Dinkim". That made us laugh too but I don't think we would've let them touch our hair!)

Wet n' Wild - The kids really wanted to show Granny one of their favourite amusement parks here - Wet n' Wild. My mom was willing to give it a go even though water parks aren't necessarily her favourite thing. Last summer, my mom and I took all the kids to Sylvan Lake's water slide in Alberta. She was brave enough to try a ride with the older kids but fell off her tube and ended up getting crashed into by the woman behind her. After that I think her favourite ride there was the hot tub. In an attempt to break her in gradually, I suggested that we start at Calypso Beach. All you had to do there was lounge on a tube and let the river take you around a gentle winding course. She liked that. Then, Jack wanted her to try Mammoth Falls. Mammoth Falls is a giant tube that 5 or 6 people climb into and ride down a series of water falls. I was a bit worried about my mom's ability to climb up the tower stairs, get in and out of the tube, and how well she'd enjoy a ride that makes you feel like you could tip over at any moment. She loved it! O.k., maybe "love" is too strong a word, but she was laughing for the majority of the ride! Seizing on her excitement, I then dragged her to the River Rapids ride. The kids and I had been on it before and it seemed pretty mild. As a bonus, I remembered that there were no stairs to climb. Unfortunately, I forgot about the big hill you had to scale instead. Part way up my mom offered to skip the ride, but I told her it'd be fine. After finally making it to the top, Caitlyn decided that she wanted to go in one of the covered tubes, and she wanted Granny to go with her. Jack and I opted for our usual open-air slide. Well, who knew that the closed tubes were faster than the open ones? I guess if they don't have to worry about you shooting out the side, they can make you go as fast as possible. My mom was the last one down and I would have loved to have had a camera to capture the look of sheer terror! She shot out of the tube, panicked slightly before realizing the water was only up to her waist, and then gave me "the look." Somehow I knew that I'd better not take her on the Kamikaze next. Though it took her a bit to stop trembling, we had a great afternoon getting wet and wild! I'm sure she'd agree - right mom???

Jumble Sale - While driving past one of the churches near our house, my Mom got all excited. The sign read "Jumble Sale, Wed. 9:15 a.m." I personally have never heard of a jumble sale but apparently in my mom's English mystery novels they're a common occurrence. Perhaps she envisioned herself on Antique Roadshow showing off a vase she'd bought at the jumble sale for pennies and worth thousands, or just for the heck of it - whatever the reason, my mom thought we'd better check this sale out. So, after dropping the kids off at school, we arrived at the church ahead of schedule. There was already a line forming. This was serious business! We took our place in line. My mom chatted with the elderly ladies behind us (who kept inching their walkers forward - ready to make the dash when the doors opened!) Meanwhile, I was deciding on strategy - mom was to check out any furniture and I would head for any mirrors or wall hangings. Our neighbourhood is pretty affluent so we were expecting great things. Well, while I did get Caitlyn a couple of books and a skirt for $2.50, the only thing priceless was the look on our faces when we saw the hall. It was a jumble alright - a jumble of crap! Nothing was sorted and the majority of stuff was still shoved in boxes. Even though we didn't find any treasures, our morning at the jumble sale was rich with laughter.

We had lots of other adventures too. My mom pulling out Jack's first tooth on the beach at Tangalooma, getting knocked over by the waves at Byron Bay, doing the Rainforest Skywalk in the Tamborine Mountains (actually more of a skyrun than walk since Caitlyn turned out to be afraid of heights and bugs), avoiding the giant lizards running around our feet at Lone Pine Koala Sanctuary, and so many more fun memories. I can't wait till my mom comes back!

So, if you come to visit us here in Brisbane I promise to take you to all the touristy spots and even the not so touristy ones. And if it's laughter you're looking for, there's a fair dinkim chance we'll find it!